So it feels like forever since I have posted. It really was only a week...but whatever, then you have to catch up with everyone and you want to leave comments..blah...blah. The last week I spent allllllll of my time in my office at work doing year end reviews on "the divas" (the girls I manage) you would think that it wouldn't take so long but it does...their pay raises and if they are going to keep their jobs or not depend on it so I take it quite seriously.... While I was away I also had to have ex-rays done on my foot because I thought I broke it. Now you might be asking "how does she know what a broken foot feels like?" so I am going to tell you a story.....
*Flashback February 2, 2008*
I was horsing around with the Hubby "Bill" and while I was running from him he grabbed my hand and as I was pulling away from him...he squeezed too hard and I broke my hand....Now you might say.."wow he must be really strong"...but alas no...I have the bone density of a 70 year old woman due to the lack of calcium in my diet and my smoking (that is what my doctor says anyway)... I broke it...it sucked I had little babies and I was working ungodly hours....but I do have a funny story about my broken hand and a Pimp.
I was at work, being the best manager at a retail electronics store that I could be. I was making my rounds on the sales floor and walked by the Appliance department and I saw him. He was a tall black man in alligator boots wearing (I am not kidding) fur coat, big gold rings and gold necklaces. I almost pissed my self he looked so ridiculous...so what is a girl to do? Why walk over with my bright pink cast and start talking to my Pimp customer. Of coarse the first thing out of his mouth "Giiiirll what happened to yo hand?" and just as I was about to say "Tripped over the baby gate" (hey I wasn't going to tell everyone that my hubby broke it) but he stopped me and said "Wait giiiiirrl, I know how you done it....Ur Man musta gotten in trouble and you chopped in instead ah up slapped. That has happened to me befur, when my Bitches get out of line."....So my new Pimp friend taught me how to properly Bitch Slap some hos. By the way this is a true story and he bought over $6,000 worth of stuff from me.
Ah, good times....You never know who you will meet in retail. He by far was the most memorable...well almost the most...but a good story for another day. Good news is my foot is not broken but the bone is badly bruised...I this time I really did fall....I tripped over Wubbers (my son). Any body out there Broke a bone before?
4 comments:
Tooooooooo funny! How EXACTLY do you bitch slap some hoes?
And yeppers, I've broken my arm...stupidly doing "couples' skate" at the skating rink with a kid like a bazillion years younger than me (and I was only 8!). That'll teach me!
It is more complicated than you think...I am searching on line now for a diagram
Alice, you don't need to come up with these elaborate stories to cover for your husband's abusive ways.
Just bitch slap him! :-P
Oh Bella if you even knew....I might not slap him but he gets a daily lashing
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